no, but for real this time.
it's a tenet of adhd life, right? we have ideas. lots of 'em. and we plan things.
brainstorming. spitballing. dreaming it up.
these things aren’t difficult. my brain is always—at least partially—in idea-generation mode. i can’t help it; truthfully, i don’t know that i’d want it any other way. and yes, I know the butterfly net isn’t gauzy enough to catch even the best ideas in the bunch…so much gets lost, flies away, and never develops beyond a syllable or a flit of wings. but this is how it is. and so far my attempts (which never were actually attempted, it’s more like “so far my shame spirals surrounding never doing all the things i know i could and should be doing that would make me feel fulfilled creatively”) have fallen flat. pancake flat. no baking powder in the biscuits flat. flattity-flippin-flat.
but now? it’s time.
i watched this video on the internet. you’ve likely seen it. @ellecordova knows what’s up.
and here’s the thing: i don’t want to look back on the doomscrolling and the i-wish-i-would-haves. so much of my life is already those weird adhd shame spirals of having not done enough or not being able to “catch up” (whatever that even means), and i just don’t want to be that version of me anymore. the iteration of “i meant to, i should have, i was going to, i almost…” it’s over. done. kaput.
i don’t want to be all mary oliver one precious life about it, but also: life’s so freaking fleeting. let’s blog like it’s 1999.
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